I am a worrier. I worry about good things and bad things. About things that happened and things that will happen. It’s part of my personality and I have been struggling with it ever since. I don’t think I will get rid of this part completely, but once in a while I like to remind myself of the things that I should not worry about. Especially when it’s a rough time and it has been a very rough time for me lately. So I wanted to write down all the things that I should not worry about and share then with you. Maybe you are in a similar situation right now and need a little reminder, too!
I like to worry a lot about the past. About the good times as a teen. Friends that have been gone a long time ago. My cheerful personality when I still didn’t know that life can get rough. Happy vacations and fun party nights. Profound discussions with a friend and some glasses of wine. The good songs I used to dance to. The assholes that first made me fall deeply in love and then cry for days. I worry about so many things, either they were good or bad. Why did this happen? Whose fault was it? Could you have changed it somehow? But this makes no sense at all. What’s gone has gone and you cannot change it anyways. At that certain time this certain decision was probably the right one. So you shouldn’t blame yourself or someone else for it. It won’t make you feel better. Stop overanalyzing. Yes, you can think about it a little and come to a conclusion – learn something and grow. But don’t get into it too deeply.
Yes, I worry about the present. It kind of goes hand in hand with the past. What am I doing right now? Why am I not as successful as my friend? Why do I live in a small flat rather than a house? Why do I still don’t have a proper job? Why am I not married and have children yet? So many questions. Do you feel addressed by any them? Stop thinking about it. It won’t change anything. One of these question hit me hard last week. A friend of mine told me happy news, but I couldn’t be happy. My heart ached and as soon as I got home I started crying. I cried all day and the day after. But that’s not the solution. You should always remind yourself that your life is not someone else’s life. There are reasons why you are where you are. And reasons why someone else’s life is different. Even if it used to be similar a few years back. But you are a different personality. Things change. Thoughts change. You change!
When I finished school all I used to do was think about my future and what I wanted to achieve. I couldn’t wait for going to university, get a career and start a family before turning 30. Little did I know that things would not work out like that. Not even close like that. I’d say it’s good to have goals and aims to work towards, but stop worrying about the distant future. Sure you can plan a big world trip after finishing your degree and save up money for it. Or plan on moving to another city. But don’t forget that spending too much time thinking about what you could do and what could be distract you from the present – all the beautiful things and moment happening right now. You are not able to change the outcome of something anyway. And I’d also say: don’t think about the future when it comes to personal relationships. People change. You change. Maybe everything will be different in the future.
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